All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
