She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
