I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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