i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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