He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
