i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
