I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
