Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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