Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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