i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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