so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
