So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
