Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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