There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize