am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
