goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
