she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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