her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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