i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
