Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
