i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
