I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
