Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
