ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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