just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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