What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
