I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My vagina just clenched in fear
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
