The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
