I want to stick my p in your. b.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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