Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
