i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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