everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
