Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
