I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
