"it" just moved
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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