Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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