Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
