fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
