i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Do vagina's smell?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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