tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize