i think my mom watched the whole time
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I'm really busy with my period
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