im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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