I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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