Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
