i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
id be glad to
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
dude i'm inner monologue high
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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