You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
