So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
