This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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