I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
