i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize