so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize