This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
