i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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