Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
