It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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