the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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