the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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