I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She bit a glass in half.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
