who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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