It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
