Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
