you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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