We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
