ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
