Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
