and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just forgot I was standing up.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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